Meaning of Life and Daffodils Essay Example for Free

Meaning of Life and Daffodils Essay The person who is saying the poem is a person who hardly admires nature for its true beauty. 2. Occasion: A trip to the lake inspired this poem because there he saw all these daffodils by the lake and compared them to stars. 3. Audience: The audience for this poem are all those who do not appreciate the beauty of nature and more so to the well-educated. 4. Purpose: The reason Wordsworth wrote this poem was to express the beauty of all nature and how we take its beauty for granted. He is wishing to convey that we should acknowledge nature because we are nature and nature is in all of use. Also that we should admire its beauty before the image is gone and it’s too late. 5. Subject: The poem is about a man who takes a trip to lake and wanders around without a care in the world, like a cloud. Then he sees all these daffodils and compares them to stars. Later he returns to his couch to then realize that the scene was beautiful and that all nature is beautiful. 6. Tone: The author’s attitude towards nature is that he loves the beauty of it and how should admire its beauty. That it should take a â€Å"pensive mood† (Line 20; Wordsworth) for us to realize the beauty of nature, because we should always admire its beauty. Poem Analysis TP-CASTT 1. Title: The title seems to give off a sense of relaxation and a worry free feeling. Floating through life with no worries, like a cloud. 2. Paraphrase: A person is wandering around like a cloud does when it floats high over vales and hills. At a glance he sees a host of golden daffodils beside the lake, beneath the trees, fluttering and dancing. He compares the daffodils to the stars and how the flowers remind him of the Milky Way. The flowers stretch endlessly along the margin of the bay. He saw just ten thousand in one glance. The waves besides the flowers danced but they could not outdo the sparkling waves of the daffodils. A poet could not be happy in such jocund company. He gazed at the show but thought little of what wealth the show to him had brought. It wasn’t until he lay on his couch in a pensive mood that the image flashes before is inward eye, which is the bliss of solitude. Then finally his heart is fills with pleasure and dances with the daffodils. 3. Connotation: The author uses personification to bring to life the daffodils and to connect them with humans. â€Å"dancing in the breeze. † (Line 6; Wordsworth) This imagery gives us a sense that the daffodils are trying to communicate with us through â€Å"dancing†, and tell us that we are really no different than them. The author gives off a relaxed tone by making the speaker wander like a cloud, and we can also tell that the author loves the beauty of nature and thinks that we are connected to it, by what he has the speaker do in the poem. The attitude that the speaker has toward nature is that at first he doesn’t really admire the beauty of the daffodils until he lies on his couch and thinks about what he saw. The speakers attitude towards himself is that he doesn’t really see what’s so important about nature, until he really thinks about it. . Shifts: The poem shifts when the speaker says, â€Å"but little thought,† (Line 17; Wordsworth). It also shifts when he lies on his couch to think about nature. It shifts from a sense of perspective, because at fist he just examined the lake and saw daffodils, but it wasn’t until later, after he left, that there was more to the daffodils than just being plants. 6. Title: Now when I see the title is see that it is saying that the speaker is wandering though life with no knowledge about nature and its connection with life. 7. Theme: The poem is about a man who takes a trip to lake and wanders around without a care in the world, like a cloud. Then he sees all these daffodils and compares them to stars. Later he returns to his couch to then realize that the scene was beautiful and that all nature is beautiful. The theme of the story is that we just see nature as plants and trees and we do not admire the true meaning of nature. Once we do see the true meaning of nature and how we are connected, we are not around to admire its beauty in person because it’s too late.

The Acoustic Phonetics English Language Essay

The Acoustic Phonetics English Language Essay The chapter Vowels, acoustics events with a relatively open vocal tract deals with the examination of the various acoustic properties that can result when the vocal tract is in relatively open configuration. The chapter discusses primarily the sounds produced when the narrowest point in the vocal tract is not sufficiently constricted for modes of vibration for which the average airflow is not large enough to cause a significant pressure drop at the constriction. This configuration is normally associated with vowel sounds. The author explains formant bandwidths for vowels by describing the vocal tract as a pole or a tube and when this has no branches or cross modes and the source of sound is a volume velocity source at the glottis, the transfer function to the volume velocity at the mouth opening is an all pole function. When the shape of the vocal tract is changed due to the position of the body of the tongue or any other structure the frequency at the glottis also changes. at occasi ons there are acoustic losses in the vocal tract and these are due to various reasons such as vocal tract walls, viscosity, heat conduction and radiation. The author has used a graph to explain the acoustic loss caused by these factors, and it also measures the frequency. The data in the graph was obtained from sweep-tone measurements, in which estimates of the transfer function were made by applying a transducer to the neck surface and measuring the sound pressure radiated from the mouth using a sinusoidal source. The glottis were closed when the measurements were made. From the graph it is under stood that there is a difference in frequency between male and female and radiation casuses the most of acoustic loss. The two figures also show the average values of the bandwidths of the first three formants for several vowel configurations were 54 , 65, 70 Hz respectively, with the first formant band varying from 39 to73 Hz for different vowels. In the high frequency range above about 2 000 Hz , a major contributor to the bandwidth is acoustic loss is radiation but there is also considerable variability in the format bandwidths at these frequencies depending primarily on the size of the mouth opening and the cavity affiliation of first format frequency. High vowels: A number of acoustic, physiological and auditory factors combine to define a category of vowels that are produced with a high tongue body position and a low first formant frequency. The impedance of vacal tract walls contributes to stability of first format, the tongue surface in the lateral direction can be shaped to produce a stable acoustic output (atleast tongued body positions) that is insensitive to the degree of contraction for the muscles controlling tongue height and the auditory responses to sound with a low with a low f1 appears to have distinctive properties. Front back distinction We find a common acoustic consequence of front back displacements of the tongue body independent of tongue height. Forward movement of the tongue body causes an increase of the second formant-frequency to maximum value consistent to the types of constrictions that are possible for the different tongue heights. This maximum value is higher for the high vowels than for the low vowels. For the highest tongue body position, and, to some extent for the intermediate position, the third and fourth formants combine with the second to produce a center of gravity of the higher frequency spectral prominence that is higher than F2. front vowels then are always characterized by a broad minimum or empty space in the spectrum in the mid frequency between F1 and F2. For a back tongued body, on the other hand ,F2 is displaced to value that is maximally low and close to F1 for a proper selection of the tongue body position. In the case of the non low vowels, a value of F2 that is lowest and closest to F1 and can be reached by rounding the lips. An acoustic consequence of an F2 value that is low is low and close to F1 is that the amplitudes of higher frequency peaks in the spectrum are low relative to the amplitudes of F1 and F2 peaks and probably do not play a significant role in determining vowel quality. Electeomyographic data show a sharp distinction in the muscle activity involved in producing front and back vowels. Data reported by Baer et al. show that all back vowels exhibit activity of the stylogloccus muscle, which is oriented to displace the tongue body backward and upward. This muscle is specially active for non low back vowels. Front vowels on the other hand, show no activity of the stylogloccus muscle. A neutral vowel is defined as a vowel produced by a vocal tract configuration that has uniform cross-sectional area along its entire length. Whilst no vowel articulation can actually meet this requirement accurately, the vowel in heard and some productions of schwa can approximate this configuration. For such vowels, and only for such vowels, the vocal tract can be treated mathematically as a single uniform tube closed at one end (the glottis) and open at the other (the lips) for the purposes of calculating the resonances of the vocal tract. The acoustics of vowels are fairly well understood. The different vowel qualities are realized in acoustic analyses of vowels by the relative values of the formants, acoustic resonances of the vocal tract which show up as dark bands on a spectrogram. The vocal tract acts as a resonant cavity, and the position of the jaw, lips, and tongue affect the parameters of the resonant cavity, resulting in different formant values. The acoustics of vowels c an be visualized using spectrograms, which display the acoustic energy at each frequency, and how this changes with time. The first formant, abbreviated F1, corresponds to vowel openness (vowel height). Open vowels have high F1 frequencies while close vowels have low F1 frequencies, as can be seen at right: The [i] and [u] have similar low first formants, whereas [É‘] has a higher formant. The second formant, F2, corresponds to vowel frontness. Back vowels have low F2 frequencies while front vowels have high F2 frequencies. This is very clear at right, where the front vowel [i] has a much higher F2 frequency than the other two vowels. However, in open vowels the high F1 frequency forces a rise in the F2 frequency as well, so an alternative measure of frontness is the difference between the first and second formants. For this reason, some people prefer to plot as F1 vs. F2 F1. (This dimension is usually called backness rather than frontness, but the term backness can be counterintuitive when discussing formants.) In the third edition of his textbook, Peter Ladefoged recommended use of plots of F1 against F2 F1 to represent vowel quality. [4] However, in the fourth edition, he changed to adopt a simple plot of F1 against F2, [5] and this simple plot of F1 against F2 was maintained for the fifth (and final) edition of the book. [6] Katrina Hayward compares the two types of plots and concludes that plotting of F1 against F2 F1 is not very satisfactory because of its effect on the placing of the central vowels, [7] so she also recommends use of a simple plot of F1 against F2. In fact, this kind of plot of F1 against F2 has been used by analysts to show the quality of the vowels in a wide range of languages, including RP British English, [8] [9] the Queens English, [10] American English, [11] Singapore English, [12] Brunei English, [13] North Frisian, [14] Turkish Kabardian, [15] and various indigenous Australian languages. [16]Rounding is generally realized by a complex relationship between F2 and F3 that tends to reinforce vowel backness. One effect of this is that back vowels are most commonly rounded while front vowels are most commonly unrounded; another is that rounded vowels tend to plot to the right of unrounded vowels in vowel charts. That is, there is a reason for plotting vowel pairs the way they are. The usual description of vowels in respect to their phonetic quality requires the linguist to locate them within a so-called vowel space, apparently articulatory in nature, and having three dimensions labeled high-low (or close-open), front-back, and unrounded-rounded. The first two are coordinates of tongue with associated jaw position, while the third specifies the posture of the lips. It is recognized that vowels can vary qualitatively in ways that this three-dimensional space does not account for. So, for example, vowels may differ in degree of nasalization, and they may be rhotacized or r-colored. Moreover, it is recognized that while this vowel space serves important functions within the community of linguists, both the two measures of tongue position and the one for the lips inadequately identify those aspects of vocal tract shapes that are primarily responsible for the distinctive phonetic qualities of vowels (Ladefoged 1971). With all this said, it remains true enough that a lmost any vowel pair of different qualities can be described as occupying different positions with the space. Someone hearing two vowels in sequence and detecting a quality difference will presumably also be able to diagnose the nature of the articulatory shift executed in going from one vowel to the other. Esophageal talkers may have reduced intelligibility due to both time domain and frequency domain variability. The unpredictable nature of esophageal speech can cause problems when automatic procedures are used in applications such as long-distance telephone messages. The current study compared a standard coding algorithm (LPC-10e) with a novel approach to determining voiced periods (vocal tract area functions) in the speech of esophageal talkers. The results of the study showed that the sentences synthesized with the vocal tract area function algorithm were more intelligible than those synthesized with the standard LPC-10e algorithm. Supplemental information, such as vocal tract area functions, may be useful in determining voiced epochs when variability in vocal parameters is high. In the last 40 years, many vocal pedagogy authors have written about the need for appropriate vowel modification. Modification involves shading vowels with respect to the location of vowel formants, so that the sung pitch or one of its harmonics receives an acoustical boost by being near a formant. The goals of such modification include a unified quality throughout the entire range, smoother transitions between registers, enhanced dynamic range and control and improved intelligibility. Elite singers, whether they consciously recognize they are modifying vowels or not, become experts at making subtle changes in vowels as they sing, or they do not have consistent careers. Modification concepts which have been widely accepted are summarized below: Although there is a strong correlation between voice classification and formant frequencies, due to subtle articulation and anatomical differences, formant frequencies are unique to each individual. The amount of modification needed varies with the size of the voice, the weight of the voice, the duration of the note being considered, the dynamic level, and how the note in question is approached. Sensitive singers report that the amount of modification they need may vary daily and also during the day, depending on how much they have warmed up. Vowel formants are frequency bands, not one specific pitch. Precise tuning of each note in a piece is not very practical nor is it acoustically beneficial. During a rapid passage, a singer may not have enough time to adjust for optimal resonance on each vowel on each note; moving on to the next note in the passage smoothly is a greater priority than exact tuning of each tone. Males and females tune differently. In general, males seek to match harmonics above the fundamental to a formant, while females, especially in the upper voice, tend to reinforce the fundamental itself by matching it to the first or lowest formant. Several general rules for modifying vowels exist (as summarized by Titze): (a) formant frequencies lower uniformly by lengthening the vocal tract (either by lowering the larynx or protruding the lips or some combination of both); (b) formant frequencies are lowered uniformly by lip rounding and raised by lip spreading; (c) fronting and arching the tongue lowers the first formant and raises the second formant, while backing and lowering the tongue raises the first formant and lowers the second formant; (d) opening the jaw raises the first formant and lowers the second formant. Vocal fold vibration for voicing is achieved by the combined efforts of muscular tension, tissue elasticity and aerodynamic forces. The vocal folds are initially drawn together by the activities of the various laryngeal adductor muscles. As the folds come together the velocity of air passing through the glottis increases which results in a pressure drop between the medial edges of the folds (Bernoulli effect) causing them to be sucked together. Pressure then builds up below the closed glottis until the folds are forced apart and the cycle repeats (Van den Berg, 1958; 1968). One necessary condition of voicing is that subglottal pressure exceeds supraglottal pressure (the transglottal pressure difference) (Ohala, 1983; Sawashima and Hirose, 1983). The activity of the larynx during phonation causes the airstream flowing out of the lungs to be broken up into a rapid series of puffs due to the opening and closing of the vocal folds . Each burst of compressed air escapes through the glottis at high speed and collides with the column of air inside the vocal tract. This causes an acoustic shock wave which is propagated to the outside. The spectrum of the periodic glottal waveform is a line spectrum comprising harmonics which occur at multiples of the fundamental frequency. According to theoretical calculations (Fant, 1960; Rosenberg 1971), the glottal tone for normal phonation has a spectrum that falls off at about 12dB per octave. Other phonation types, as described by Laver (1980), display different glottal tone characteristics. Vowel sounds are most frequently described with reference to their formant characteristics which provide an indication of the resonance positions and hence the articulatory shape for the vowel production. Early speech perception studies (Delattre, Liberman, Cooper and Gerstman, 1952; Miller, 1953) showed that the frequencies of first three formants were the most important cues to vowel identification. These findings have been supported by several subsequent analyses (Fox, 1985, Kewley-Port and Atal, 1989; Klein, Plomp and Pols, 1970; Rackerd and Verbrugge, 1985; Shepard, 1972; Terbeek, 1977). The first formant has been shown to be associated with the auditory quality of height and the second formant with the auditory impression of the front/back dimension, or, more correctly, degree of constriction and point of maximal constriction . Ladefoged, De Clerk, Lindau and Papà §un (1972) remind us that degree of lip opening, or protrusion, pharyngeal width and larynx height also contribute to modifications of acoustic output. Lindblom and Sundberg (1971) found that all formants were lowered by lip rounding but that for palatal configurations, F3 was particularly affected. Hà ¶gberg (1995) also found that lip area was an important factor in the determination of F3 for the front vowels. When the first two formants are plotted on axes with certain directional and scaling characteristics, the vowel relationships closely resembles the traditional auditory vowel map . Such vowel spaces, with axes F1 and F2, rely on the concept of the vowel target which is the part of the vowel least influenced by its surrounding phonetic context. The vowel target is where the articulators, and therefore the formants, are moving the least and is referred to as the steady-state component of the vowel. The target is considered to be either a point in the time course of the vowel or else a section of time during which the vowel position remains stable. A single point is often used to provide an estimate of the target position, and for most vowels this can be assumed to be approximately mid way though the nucleus . Several authors have noted the problems inherent in the target theory for vowels citing the difficulties often encountered in establishing steady state components by eye or by automatic extraction procedures (Benguerel and McFadden, 1989; Nearey and Assmann, 1986). Van Son and Pols (1990), however, examined five different methods of identifying vowel targets and found that the use of the different methods made little difference to the results of their experiments. The conventional method of depicting the F1/F2 does not adequately represent the multi-dimensional nature of vowel quality. Delattre et al. (1952) showed that the third formant influenced listeners judgements of vowel quality and more recent experiments have determined that the higher formants have a combined influence on vowel perception. The combined upper formant is referred to as F2 prime (F2) (Bladon, 1983; Bladon and Fant, 1978; Carlson, Fant and Ganstrom, 1975; Paliwal, Lindsay and Ainsworth, 1983). Delattre et al. (1952) suggested that the ear averages formants that are close together. Carlson, Ganstrom and Fant (1970) tested this hypothesis for Swedish vowels concluding that all vowels could be effectively synthesised using two formant approximations. Chistovich and colleagues found that formant averaging or integration occurred only if two formants were situated within a critical distance of 3 to 3.5 bark (Chistovich and Lublinskaya, 1979 and Chistovich, Sheikin and Lublins kaya, 1979). More recent studies have examined global spectral features suggesting that the F3 F2 difference is a more accurate way of identifying vowel frontedness. Syrdal and Gopal (1986) have shown that the separation between back and front vowels is more closely linked to the F3 F2 difference than the F2 F1 difference. It is important to recognise, however, that F3 and F4 vary more than F1 and F2 as a result of speaker characteristics whereas they are relatively stable across vowel categories in contrast to F1 and F2 which vary greatly as a result of vowel quality. The higher formants are therefore less effective carriers of phonetic information than the lower formants (Harrington and Cassidy, 1999). Vowels can be described in terms of the centre frequencies of the first three formants at the vowel target (or targets for diphthongs). Vowel duration and other dynamic spectral information contribute to a more complete description but the extent of this contribution remains unclear. Contextual environment as well as suprasegmental factors plays an important role in the ultimate realisation of the vowel phoneme and so such characteristics must be carefully controlled in phonetic research. Physiological differences between speakers also affect vowel characteristics and such effects must be accounted for in phonetic research and minimised if necessary. One method of minimising physiological effects is to use one of the many normalisation procedures available to reduce variance but care must always be taken when manipulating data to ensure that phonetic accuracy is preserved. The question of sex specific articulations remains open as researchers have been unable to adequately model male to female vowel behaviour. Acoustic data provides an accessible means for hypothesising about articulatory behaviour and it is customary, in phonetic discussions of vowel characteristics, to use articulatory labels to refer to auditory and acoustic properties (Ladefoged and Maddieson, 1990). Articulatory discussions provide convenient global labels for describing acoustic effects, however, specific articulatory detail should not be ascribed to acoustic vowel data.

Malcolm X Essay -- essays research papers

  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã¢â‚¬Å"There can be no black-white unity until there is first some black unity.† (Malcolm X, March 8, 1964) Malcolm X was probably one of the most controversial elements in the civil rights movement. Due to his radical views and actions he was detested by many peoples at that time, yet still today he is seen as a key figure along with Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Malcolm X had become a member of the Nation of Islam in his earlier years. The Islamic faith borrows basic ideas from the orthodox teachings of Islam and combines them with the very racist views regarding whites taught by Elijah Mohammed. Malcolm was a very influential priest for the Nation of Islam. After questioning some of the views and beliefs of the Nation of Islam, Malcolm angered many of its followers. This forced Malcolm to travel on a journey overseas to Arabia to find out what his true beliefs were. When he reached Arabia, he found that it was a different society than that of which Elijah Mohammed had described it. Malcolm discovered that race played no role in determining a person’s status in society. Viewing this made a positive change in Malcolm X’s beliefs and views. This unity of human kind made Malcolm think and change his ideas about the solution to the racial problem in America. This was the most influential turning point in his lif e.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Malcolm first adopted his views and beliefs of the Nation of Islam while he was serving time in prison. By the time he had gotten out of prison, he had undergone a transformation from a drug-dealing thief to a religious priest of the Nation of Islam. Mohammed’s racist teachings were taken in by Malcolm. It was through these teachings that Malcolm X developed his radical views about race in America.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Under the guidance and teachings of Elijah Mohammed, Malcolm had targeted all whites and blamed them for position of African Americans in society. He referred to the whites as devils, which tried making the standards of blacks even lower then they already were. Malcolm X believed that complete segregation was the only way to end racial problems in America. He also said that all actions committed against blacks in history were due to the white race as a whole. Another one of his claims was that all blacks should move to Africa, a... ...was Malcolm Little, he was a drug addict, a thief, and an all around criminal. As Malcolm X, he went from a low life hoodlum to a very influential priest for the Nation of Islam. As Malik El-Shabazz, he went from teaching racial segregation to preaching racial equality and unification. He basically went from one end of the spectrum straight to the other. In the end, he became a good man, who taught what was right in his eyes. Unfortunately, Malcolm Little (a.k.a. Malcolm X, a.k.a. Malik El-Shabazz) was assassinated in the Audubon Ballroom by members of the Nation of Islam in Harlem on February 21, 1965. He was world famous at this time as â€Å"the angriest black man in America.†   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Having been a significant and prominent figure in the civil rights advancement for blacks from my point of view, Malcolm X was a necessity even though some viewed his actions as flaws. His conversion from a odious black man believing in segregation was the only way, to a powerful leader in civil liberties, proved momentous in his development of becoming that powerful leader. Organizations led by Malcolm at that time united African Americans additionally supporting there movement.

Belle Boyd Newspaper Obituary :: American History Civil War

Yesterday, June 11, 1900, we lost Belle Boyd, one of the most heroic ladies of the Civil War. This famous Confederate spy has died after a cardiac arrest at age 56, while on tour in Kilbourne City, Wisconsin. She will be remembered as a great writer, actress, and spy who had courage in even the most trying times. Belle Boyd played the part of spy as if the war were a lighthearted game of cards. Born on May 4, 1843, she was raised just like any other southern lady. She was the daughter of a merchant and grew up in Martinsburg, West Virginia with her parents, Benjamin Reed Boyd and Mary Rebecca Glenn, three brothers, one sister, and grandmother. She went by the name Belle Boyd instead of her original name, Maria Isabella Boyd. Boyd attended Mount Washington Female College of Baltimore from age 12 to 16 after receiving a preliminary education. People knew her to be a fun-loving debutante. Her low voice was charming and her figure, flawless. Her irregular features rendered her either completely plain or extremely beautiful. The Civil War started when Boyd was 16, and she became a die-hard secessionist. She raised money for the South and organized parties to visit the troops until her career took a more active turn. Her spying profession began by chance when Boyd?s father and brothers were off to fight the war, leaving her with her mother, grandmother, baby brother, and sister. A band of drunken Union officers broke into her home, intent on raising the Federal flag over her house and one of the men insulted her mother. She drew a pistol and killed the man. Union officers were so charmed by her and felt such sympathy for her that they spared her from punishment. Though she was acquitted of the crime, officers still kept close watch over her. Clever Boyd took advantage of them and bewitched them into revealing military secrets. She then made her slave, Eliza Hopewell, carry the secret messages to confederate soldiers in a hollowed out watchcase. Her espionage career continued when in 1862, a Union troop gathered in her local hotel. Boyd hid upstairs, eavesdropping through a hole on the floorboards where clandestine Union information was revealed. Late that night, Belle rode out acting and bluffing her way past the Union sentries and conveyed this information to Col. Turner Ashby, who was scouting for the Confederates.

An Account of Racial Inequality in Langston Hughes Freedom Train :: Hughes Freedom Train Essays

An Account of Racial Inequality in Langston Hughes' Freedom Train "Freedom Train" by Langston Hughes is a powerful and eye-opening account of racial inequality in the early Twentieth century. Hughes poem is filled with a sense of irony but also hope towards the future. This tongue-in-cheek look at the so-called "Freedom" Train is a powerful image. Langston Hughes included important ideas in a simple and original way. Hughes was writing at the height of the Harlem Renaissance and his focus remained on issues faced by African Americans, but he did not dwell on the injustices. "Freedom Train" and other writings of Langston Hughes had a very hopeful tone. The poem, written in 1947, was produced in a time surrounded by war, patriotism, and also racism in America. World War II was ending and patriotism was at a high. The title, "Freedom Train" was coined from a locomotive that carried the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and other important American documents on a tour across the United States. People were free to visit this train when it arrived in their town. This was one example of growing patriotism after World War II. The irony of this poem is, as Hughes points out, the fact that the American people were celebrating this Freedom Train and documents assuring our freedom, while African Americans were still not even considered equal citizens by most white Americans. Racism was still common and blacks were still treated as inferiors. These injustices are what Hughes is concerned with. Hughes cannot fathom this as the "Freedom" Train because he has no real sense of freedom, but he is hopeful and looks to the future. Hugh asks, "How can this be a Freedom Train?" He remarks that he cannot even sit in the white man's railroad car that, at the same time, is encouraging freedom. The irony is unbelievable. Hughes is, in a sense, waiting for his own freedom train in a much deeper sense. By taking this poem one section at a time, and looking at the historical significance, one discovers these important links and u nderlying messages conveyed by Langston Hughes. Langston Hughes gives us an African American view on many issues that were important during this time. He writes in a very sarcastic manner when speaking of the Freedom Train.

How to have a relationship Essay

A relationship is a way of connecting. The connection could be between people or objects. Listening to my grandmother talk about relationships helped me understand how things have completely changed over times. My grandmother stated that relationships where more valued back then and people stayed together for all the right reasons. She informed me that when you loved someone you loved them like no other. When it came to marriage they lasted longer than they do now. Having a relationship with someone was the thing to do. At one time relationships actually had meaning people were with each other because they loved them. This showed me the commitment part of relationships, when people actually stayed faithful to the person they were with. Nowadays men and woman say I love you just for the fun of it. But be honest everyone you know or knew either ant’s a relationship, has a relationship or has played a role in one either as the main lover or the sideline. Relationships are complicated, complex commitments that we take seriously or play around with like a rag doll. Serious relationships start from the mind knowing what it is that you want how you want it and how you’re going to get it is the first step in committing to a relationship. Yes commitment can be very hard to do. Especially when were accustomed to doing things our own way; without having to answer to someone else. Understanding the person you are trying to commit to is a good way to start a serious relationship. It is important to gather as much information as possible and take as much time as needed to ensure that you know the person that you are in a relationship with. Taking the steps and looking at past relationships can help you understand if the relationship might be what you are looking for in life. It is true that no matter how long you have known a person you may never truly know who that person really is. It is also important to know what we want before committing ourselves in. Whether that relationship is a marriage or just a boyfriend/ girlfriend committing to someone should begin with feelings being involved. Relationships become complicated when you have disagreements, other people etc. I feel that it takes two to make a relationship work and if both parties are not commented then it will never work. It’s like the eighty-twenty rule which explains that one person is giving there all and all and the other person only gives what is necessary at that time. How can a relationship work if both parties are not on the same level and are not committed to each other? Complicating in relationships come from problems that we cause ourselves, from not committing or giving our all to the relationship. As for myself I’ve had a few relationships in my day. Some good ones and then some that I would give anything to take back and wish that I had never committed myself to. Not saying that you would have the same outcome as I did but just make sure that the love is real. If we go into a relationship knowing that we are not there for a long time then it makes the relationship less complicated. In these type situations just make sure that you inform the person with how you feel before going into the relationship. It is important to have a clean understanding of what each party wants. Having false feelings in a relationship can be the most hurtful thing when you actually find out so therefore try to avoid coming into these situations. Communication is a huge part of a serious successful relationship. Communicating with your partner is a very good stress reliever and understanding method. Having communication builds trust and loyalty, which are two other things that are very important in a relationship. When a person is in a relationship they expect their partner to be understanding, have good listening skills and be there when they need you. Sometimes it’s just best to sit back and listen to what the other person had to say. You never know what you might learn about your partner if you just listen. Always remember to keep the lines of communication open throughout the relationship. For me, I think that one of my biggest downfalls in previous relationships is the lack of communication between my partner and me. I also have problems with my partner not being able to support himself and maybe even helping me every now and then, don’t get me wrong I’m not asking him to take care of me in no means what so ever but help every now and then would be good. As I did research on the topic of relationships, I learned that there are several steps that can be taken to have a successful relationship. First it is important to ensure that you trust your partner. Does your partner’s communication lift you just to bring you right back down? How do you and your partner deal with conflict in your relationship? Do you have compatible financial values? When you are thinking about starting a new relationship think about some of these questions. They might help you to understand the relationship better and if that’s what you really want. Maintaining a trusting and lasting relationship is going to require some work on both sides and especially in these times. As long as there is trust and communication between both parties then there is a good chance that the relationship will work. I plan to take my time and know the person that I intend to be in a serious relationship with. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I definitely don’t want to be hurt. I look forward to finding love one day that is meaningful and lasting but until then I will continue to inform my partner how I feel and what I am looking for in the beginning. I will ensure the line of communication stays open.

Succubus Dreams CHAPTER 23

I couldn't stay in my bedroom after that, not after seeing two angels die – one physically and one spiritually. I had to get out of there, out of the apartment. None of the others seemed to notice or care that I fled. With Nyx captured, there were bigger things to worry about in the universe than one distraught succubus. I'd been driving in the car for about ten minutes before I realized where I was going. Dante's. Vincent's talk about the evil charm suddenly seemed unimportant. What I needed right now was to talk to someone about what I'd seen. Seth wouldn't entirely understand, and besides, matters still weren't fixed between us. Discussing serious things with the vampires was hard for me sometimes. I was still mad at Hugh. I wouldn't bother Erik since he was still recovering. Dante was all I had left. He opened the door to his store after I banged on it for about five minutes. The messy hair and wrinkled clothing showed me that I'd woken him again. He looked annoyed, as usual, when I walked inside. â€Å"Didn't it work? I told you – † He took a closer look at me. â€Å"What happened?† I staggered to one of the chairs and collapsed into it, hands resting on the side of my forehead. I could have been a mirror of Yasmine. I opened my mouth to speak, to explain what had happened†¦but no words came out. He knelt beside me. â€Å"Succubus. You're freaking me out here. What happened?† I stared blankly at him for several seconds before finally focusing on his concerned face. â€Å"She fell.† â€Å"Huh? Nyx?† â€Å"No†¦Yasmine.† â€Å"Who?† My eyes went unfocused again as I remembered that black flame. The horrible sound. Blinking, I tried to shake it off and turn my attention to Dante. â€Å"She's an angel. Was an angel. Maybe she still is. I don't know. Fuck, I don't know. I don't know what she is.† He reached out and gripped my arms, shaking me slightly to get my attention again. â€Å"Look, you're losing me. I don't know how an angel falling ties into Nyx. If it ties into Nyx. You've gotta calm down and start from the beginning. Take a deep breath.† I did. â€Å"Now another.† I did. â€Å"Now talk.† I did. It was hard at first, and I had a few false starts. Finally, however, I was able to back up and explain the cast of angels to Dante. The story slowly spilled from my lips, and I told him all about what had happened: Nyx's capture, Joel's death, and Yasmine's fall. He kept his hands on my arms when I finished, and I later realized it was to steady me. I was shaking. Several quiet minutes passed as we sat there. He exhaled at last and shook his head. â€Å"Fuck, succubus. That's a lot for one night. Even for you.† He touched my chin with his hand and tilted my face up. â€Å"But you know angels fall. You know they still fall. All the time.† â€Å"But I've never seen it,† I whispered. â€Å"In all this time†¦ I've never known anyone who was an angel and then became a demon. All the demons I know†¦well, they've always been demons. I never saw them when they were angels.† â€Å"First time for everything.† I met his eyes. â€Å"But I liked her.† I expected some comment like, â€Å"Bad things happen to good people.† Instead, he just shook his head. â€Å"I'm sorry.† I swallowed back tears – I'd already cried enough tonight – and leaned forward, resting my head against his chest, just as I had the other night. He ran a hand down my hair and rocked me. â€Å"What hope is there?† I asked. â€Å"If even angels fall, what hope is there for the rest of us?† â€Å"There isn't,† he said. â€Å"We're on our own. And we have to make the choices we think are best for our own survival. If your angel friend had been thinking like that, she wouldn't have fallen.† â€Å"But that's the thing†¦angels don't think about themselves, right? They're selfless.† â€Å"Maybe,† he said doubtfully. â€Å"She let things get that far with the nephilim†¦that wasn't really selfless. Now they're both fucked, and we've got another member in the club.† â€Å"What club?† â€Å"The club. Our club. The one for people who make one mistake and are punished forever because of it.† He paused. â€Å"It's a pretty big club.† I gently pulled out of the embrace. â€Å"What did you do?† â€Å"Hmm?† â€Å"Your one mistake. Vincent found the charm†¦he said it was horrible. Black magic. He said you had to have done something really bad to make it.† Dante's eyes were sad as he regarded me. â€Å"You really want to know?† I nodded. â€Å"No. You don't. Right now, for the first time, you're talking to me like maybe I'm not the biggest asshole on earth. I tell you the truth†¦and you'll lose all respect for me.† â€Å"I won't. I'll respect you more.† He rolled his eyes. â€Å"People always say noble things in hypothetical situations. ‘I'd never cheat on my spouse.' ‘I'd return the million dollars that I found on the street.' It's bullshit.† â€Å"It's not,† I argued. â€Å"I respect the truth.† â€Å"But you won't like it. Why do you think I didn't kiss you that day outside Erik's? I joke about wanting to sleep with you – hell, I do want to sleep with you – but if we'd done it, you'd have felt how little energy I really have.† â€Å"I buy the low energy thing, but I still want to know the story behind it.† His eyes narrowed in frustration. â€Å"Look, succubus. I don't even think I could tell the story if I wanted to. It's too hard.† His comment about kissing suddenly inspired me. â€Å"Can you show me?† â€Å"What?† I moved toward him. â€Å"Kiss me. I can hardly get any energy from you, but if you open yourself to the memory, I should be able to feel pieces of it.† I hoped that was true, at least. While my lovers' thoughts and feelings came through to me during sex, it wasn't exactly a system we could control. I couldn't summon up specific things. Usually what I felt was whatever the guy was thinking about just then. More often than not, it was amazement or perhaps a guilty conscience over the lover he was cheating on. But maybe†¦maybe if Dante was specifically thinking of whatever he had done, it would come through. It was worth a shot. I leaned closer to him. He didn't move, so I went in all the way and kissed him. Initially, it was just a kiss – all physical. Gradually, I started to get a bit of his life force – but it was just like he'd said. His soul was too dark. The life energy that flowed into me was barely a trickle. It was only a few drops, like a leaking faucet. Then†¦once I'd assessed the energy, I felt something else. I felt his soul – felt why it was so black, so devoid of the shining life most humans had. That blackness began pouring into me, that sickening and oozing evil†¦and there, behind it, was despair and anger and hopelessness and frustration. It was nauseating. Blackness and blood. I wanted to pull away, but I had to see what he was hiding. The memory came through to me in disjointed images, but I was able to piece them together and form a narrative. I saw a sister. Older than him by ten years. She'd taken care of him throughout his childhood – both in a motherly way and as an instructor. She was a psychic too. She'd taught him how to harness his power, to tap the magic of the world that was unseen to most humans. She had been powerful, but he was even stronger. It hadn't been enough, though. He'd wanted more than to simply control his power – he'd wanted to enhance it. But as Hugh and Vincent had told me, few humans were born with the magnitude of power that he'd craved. So, he'd taken it. Ripped it out. From her. I saw his face when he killed her, felt his pain as the dagger touched her throat. She was half-mother and half-sister to him, but he stole her life anyway. And with that act, his power had grown by magnitudes – both because he'd gained hers and because of the spell involved. The blood of the innocent always brings power, and the black magic intertwined in this death brought it in spades. It had left him feeling like a god. And wishing he were dead. He'd damned himself. He still loved the power, still loved wielding it†¦but after killing his sister, he'd hated himself. He'd withdrawn from the world, trying to bury his memories in drugs and alcohol, only occasionally using his powers for small, nickel-and-dime con jobs. I broke the kiss, not wanting to see or feel anymore. If we went further, I'd probably see what he had to do to make the charm. It wouldn't be as bad as what he'd done to his sister, but I was through with all this. Wide-eyed, I scooted away from him on the floor. â€Å"She was Erik's lover,† I said softly. I'd had a brief glimpse of Tanya – that was her name – and Erik together. â€Å"She was the woman in the picture. That's why he hates you.† Dante nodded. â€Å"The three of us†¦we were going to do great things. We were all so fucking talented, you know?† He rested a hand on his head, eyes full of grief. â€Å"Unsurprisingly, Erik chose to end our friendship after this. He wanted to kill me†¦he should have. He really should have. But, well. He's not that kind of guy.† â€Å"No,† I agreed, voice cold. â€Å"He's not.† I stood up and backed away from Dante, who was still sitting on the floor. He looked up and realized what I was doing. The miserable face turned angry. â€Å"Leaving so soon?† â€Å"Yes.† â€Å"Well. Thanks for stopping by. And thanks for proving me right.† â€Å"About†¦?† He threw his hands in the air. â€Å"This. I told you you'd hate me.† â€Å"I don't – † I stopped. I did hate him. I couldn't help it, not after seeing how much he and his sister had loved each other. Not after realizing how much this must have hurt Erik. â€Å"Dante†¦what you did†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Was a mistake. One I would take back if I could. One mistake to damn me forever. Just like your angel friend. Just like you.† â€Å"No,† I said. â€Å"It's not the same. Yasmine fell because of love.† â€Å"She fell because of selfishness,† he argued. â€Å"But I won't challenge that point. Tell me about you. Did you fall because of love?† I didn't say anything. I'd fallen because of lust. I'd cheated on my husband because I was hurt and lonely and bored and†¦well, because I could. Dante regarded me sharply. â€Å"You see? I get it. You fucked up too. I understand you – you're not going to find too many people who do. I bet your boyfriend doesn't.† â€Å"He accepts me.† â€Å"But does he understand? Have you ever told him in painstaking detail what you did?† â€Å"No, but it doesn't matter.† Dante stood up and approached me. â€Å"It does matter! Being with him is a joke. It can't work. I'm not saying you have some great romantic future with me either, but at the very least, you should stick with people who know where you've come from.† â€Å"Right. Hanging out with you means I'd just drink and hate life.† â€Å"Your point?† â€Å"Seth makes me hope for better things. Makes me want to be better.† â€Å"But there's no point!† exclaimed Dante. â€Å"Why don't you get that? Things can't change for you. Even your own fucking palms say so.† â€Å"No†¦Nyx said†¦Nyx said the dream could come true. The man in the dream – â€Å" † – was her scamming you. You would have fallen for it, too, if your angel hadn't fallen first.† I clenched my teeth. â€Å"Her dreams are true. Seth and I – â€Å" † – are going to get married? Run off into the sunset? Have babies? Succubus! Wake up!† Dante was shouting, his face inches from mine. â€Å"It can't happen. Not for you. Maybe it can for him – but not with you. Every day you spend with him just ensures his life is going to be as empty and meaningless as yours.† â€Å"That's not true!† I screamed. â€Å"We're happy. We're going to be happy together, and I don't care if you don't believe me. I'm never going to see or speak to you again. I know why Erik hates you, and I hate you too.† I kicked the door open. â€Å"You deserve to burn in Hell.† I left him, but I still couldn't make myself go home. With nothing else to do, I simply found a twenty-four-hour diner and drank coffee, pointedly ignoring anyone who talked to me. I watched the sun come up over the Olympic Mountains and finally went to work when the bookstore opened. I helped out with the last-minute Christmas rush, doing mindless and mechanical tasks. We were closing early that day, and everyone was finishing up their shopping. It was hectic and crazy, but it gave my zombie-like body something to do. When we closed, it was nearly time for me to take Maddie to the airport. She needed a few more Christmas purchases herself and asked if I'd swing downtown with her. After witnessing the death of an angel, shopping seemed like the most trivial thing in the world. Still†¦I had nothing else to do, so I agreed. I probably would have agreed to anything. Downtown Seattle was decked out in its Christmas finery, with lights and wreaths strung along the shopping nexus that centered around Fourth Avenue. At four in the afternoon, it was already dark outside. Rain pounded down on the pavement, the kind of torrential downpour most people believed we had year-round. Really, it only rained in the winter, and that was usually a drizzly type. This heavy stuff was a rare event, as though perhaps the heavens mourned Joel's passing. Through a window, I watched the rain and pedestrians fighting with umbrellas while Maddie searched in Banana Republic for something for her sister. I'd half-heartedly looked for a present for Seth, but my motivation eventually faded, and anyway, there was no way to compete with the ring. I still wore it around my neck. It felt heavy today. Along with my grief over what had happened to Yasmine, I still kept thinking about Nyx. In particular, I kept thinking about what she'd said to me. The man in the dream. Who was the man in the dream? The question consumed me, as futile as it was. I kept repeating Dante's words, trying to tell myself it didn't matter – that the whole thing had been a hoax. But that dark silhouette still haunted my mind's eye, and some part of me believed that if I knew his identity, then maybe it could all be real. â€Å"Georgina?† I turned from the rainy street and saw Vincent standing in front of me. Beyond him, a preoccupied Maddie flipped through a rack of cardigans. I'd thought he looked grief-stricken in my apartment, but that was nothing compared to what I saw now. His face was pinched and pale. His eyes were glassy and red, but whether from crying or lack of sleep, I couldn't say. Probably both. He handed me my apartment key. â€Å"Just wanted to give this back.† I took it. â€Å"You didn't need to find me for that. You could have left it.† â€Å"Yeah.† He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. â€Å"I guess I just†¦wanted to talk to someone.† â€Å"Have you, um, seen Yasmine?† He shook his head. â€Å"Nope. I don't know what happened to her. I mean, I know†¦she's off somewhere in Hell. Maybe they have orientation or something. I don't know. Whatever it is, it must be awful. And it's my fault.† â€Å"It's not,† I said automatically. â€Å"It was her choice.† â€Å"She did it for me, though.† â€Å"It doesn't matter why. The point is that she did it willingly. It isn't your place to question the decisions she makes.† As the words left my mouth, I had a total holy shit moment. I was saying exactly what everyone had been telling me about Seth. I was saying exactly what Seth himself had been telling me for so long. â€Å"I guess. I don't know.† He sighed. â€Å"It's so fucking stupid too. All these years, we've been so cautious to stay at arm's length, so she wouldn't fall. We were so good – holding back from what we wanted. And then, we get the same results from a stupid moment of confusion and passion. It just happened so fast, you know? I acted to protect her, she acted to protect me†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He trailed off and looked as though he might weep. I kind of felt like that myself. It's a pretty big club, Dante had said. â€Å"But†¦if she's already fallen†¦well. Maybe you guys can be together now.† Vincent shook his head and gave me a small smile that made him look sadder than when he hadn't been smiling. â€Å"I don't know. I don't even know if she'll meet with me now. Something tells me she won't want me to see her like that.† â€Å"And how do you feel?† â€Å"I love her unconditionally†¦or, well, at least†¦I loved Yasmine the angel unconditionally. She's not that woman anymore. I mean, she may hate what's happened†¦she may be miserable. But eventually, she'll settle in. They always do. And then she'll be one of them. She won't be the same Yasmine, and I don't know if I can love her or if she can love me. Part of what made her such a great person was that she resisted that temptation†¦and I think she felt the same about me.† I forgot Vincent for a moment as my attention turned inward, toward my own situation. Again, it was like Seth and me, I realized. The continual tension in our arrangement was a pain, yet the morals it was based on were part of what attracted us. He might have said he was okay with us not having sex, but I think some part of him loved me because of my continual refusal to give in to that. Likewise, I loved his stead-fastness – not only in abstaining from me but from other lovers as well. It was part of what had made the fight so shocking. I didn't expect him to be weak. And yet†¦even if we admired each other for our principles, was it worth it? And had that really been weakness on his part? Vincent and Yasmine had been together much longer than Seth and I had, torturing themselves in the same way. In the end, it had done them no good. Things had unfolded as they had. â€Å"Star-crossed love isn't as glamorous as it seems,† Vincent said, perhaps guessing my thoughts. â€Å"I never believed it was.† â€Å"Sometimes I think†¦well, maybe it would have been better if she and I had never been together at all. These years have been wonderful†¦but well, she'd still be the woman I loved if I'd never gotten involved.† I didn't know about that. Surely, brief moments of joy were worth the pain that might follow? Wasn't that why I was with Seth, despite knowing he'd eventually die? Maybe Seth had been right about taking chances. Life was short. Maybe you needed to seize what good you could. It was all so confusing, and all of a sudden, I wanted to talk to Seth about all of this – about living life and taking risks, about what made us love one another, and about what made our relationship worth fighting for. I didn't want to make the mistakes Yasmine and Vincent had. Seth and I needed to sit down with open minds and make this thing with us work. â€Å"What are you going to do now?† I asked Vincent. I didn't think now was the best time to argue relationship philosophy with him. He gestured vaguely behind him. â€Å"Leave town. Even being masked, I know they're looking for me. I need to hide out somewhere.† I nodded. I was sad to see him go, but I knew what the other angels and demons would do if they found him. So, I wished him well and shared a brief hug before he departed. As I watched him leave, I again pondered the cautionary tale he represented. Growing anxious, I hoped this airport trip would go quickly so that I could call Seth. Wandering to the other side of the store, I found Maddie paying for her purchases. â€Å"Who was that guy?† she asked me, handing over her credit card. â€Å"He was cute. Bedraggled†¦but cute.† â€Å"He's had a long day,† I told her. And a long eternity to go. â€Å"He's just a friend.† â€Å"Is he single?† I thought about it. â€Å"Yeah, I guess he is.† While I waited for her, I looked over at a nearby mirror. Maddie was still going strong with her new cute and stylish self. She'd gotten a haircut too, the layering of which made her face appear delicate and lovely. The slacks and sweater, though simple, looked sleek and elegant on her. By contrast, I looked kind of like the ugly stepsister. Oh, I still had the nice figure and pretty face born of shape-shifting, but I'd thrown on jeans and an old coat, not really concerned with high fashion today. I also hadn't bothered to shape-shift my hair. I'd simply brushed it into a high ponytail. Most telling of all was my face. I wore as much grief as Vincent. There was a hollowness to my eyes that startled me. It counteracted all the other beauty of my features. Glancing back at Maddie, I realized she was the hot one today. When we finally hit the road to the airport, traffic was as horrible as I'd expected. I-5 was at a standstill, and with my luck lately, there was probably an accident up ahead to compound the rush hour and holiday mess. Sighing, I settled back into my seat. â€Å"Okay,† I told Maddie, desperately needing distraction. â€Å"What's the report? What adventurous things have you done? I'm pretty sure you've more than met your quota.† â€Å"Well,† she began. â€Å"There's the new clothes, of course. You've seen a lot of them, and I own more lingerie than I ever have in my life. I was always kind of afraid of it, but there's so much cute stuff out there, you know?† â€Å"Yup. I sure do.† â€Å"I got a bunch of high heels too. I'm still kind of learning to walk in them, but I'm doing okay, I think.† She groaned and looked like the snarky feminist writer she was. â€Å"I feel like†¦well, like a girl.† I smiled and looked at the cars ahead of me. All the variables were in place for an accident, so I had to be careful. In this kind of stop and go, people tended to cease paying attention and fall into a lull. That was how cars got rear-ended. It was also an oddity that Seattle drivers had trouble driving in the rain. â€Å"You seemed fine in the heels to me. What else have you done? Other than shopping?† â€Å"I signed up for a judo class.† â€Å"You did not.† â€Å"I so did,† she said, laughing. â€Å"It was the craziest class I could think of. Besides, I can finally get back at Doug after all those years he used to pull my hair.† â€Å"Well-deserved,† I said. I moved over to the farthest lane, with the futile hope that it might move a fraction faster. â€Å"Anything else?† â€Å"Mmm†¦well. I started looking for my own place.† â€Å"That's a good idea.† â€Å"And checking out flights to some places I've always wanted to see.† â€Å"Another good idea.† â€Å"And I slept with Seth.† I nearly drove into the median. â€Å"What?† I said, jerking the wheel back to my own lane. Maddie had her hands stretched out protectively. â€Å"Did you say Seth?† â€Å"Yeah†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Seth Mortensen?† She sounded incredulous. â€Å"Of course. Who else?† It was one of those things that was so ludicrous, I couldn't even fully react. It was like saying, â€Å"Hey, did you notice the earth just exploded?† It wasn't real because all the rest of the data in your known world said it was impossible. My brain wasn't going to bother processing it yet. Wasted cells. â€Å"How†¦I mean, what†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I shook my head. â€Å"Explain.† I could see by her face that she was dying to. This was what had been bursting in her in my office yesterday. â€Å"Well, two nights ago, I ran back to the bookstore after closing because I'd left something. I saw Seth out in the parking lot. He'd been out somewhere and was coming back to get his car.† â€Å"Somewhere† was my apartment. That had been the night of the fight. â€Å"Anyway,† she continued. â€Å"He looked kind of down, and I remembered what you'd said about taking risks. Plus, he still owed me the date, right? So, I asked him out for a drink, and he said sure.† I tried not to drive into the median again. â€Å"He didn't drink, did he?† â€Å"No, not alcohol. But we stayed out really late, and we had a great time. You can't even imagine how great he is to talk to. He comes across as shy, but once you get to know him†¦Ã¢â‚¬  She sighed happily. â€Å"He thinks like I do too†¦wants to do all sorts of things, go places†¦Anyway, the place finally closed, and he asked if I wanted to go hang out at his place for a while.† I couldn't even look at her now. â€Å"Seth†¦asked you back to his place?† â€Å"Well, if we went back to mine, we'd have to hang out with Doug, and we just wanted to talk more. And we did†¦except, well, after a while†¦we stopped talking. And one thing kind of led to another.† She exhaled, like she still couldn't believe it herself. â€Å"I never do things like that. Not so soon. But, well, he's a nice guy, you know? And I wanted to do something adventurous†¦Ã¢â‚¬  No, no, no. This really wasn't happening. This was a dream. This was Nyx getting back at me for not helping her. She was sending me a nightmare, one I hoped I'd wake up from soon. I didn't realize how long I'd been quiet until Maddie hesitantly asked, â€Å"Georgina? You still with me? You don't think†¦you don't think I was too easy, do you?† There was fear in her voice, fear of my disappointment and disapproval. â€Å"Huh? No†¦no†¦of course not.† I took a deep breath. â€Å"So, um, it was good?† â€Å"Oh, yeah!† She gave a nervous giggle. â€Å"I can't believe I'm even talking about this. But, yeah, Seth's a great lover. He's really attentive.† â€Å"Yeah, I imagine he would be.† â€Å"God, I can't believe this happened.† That made two of us. â€Å"What's going to happen now? Was it†¦a fling?† After all, what else could it be? Seth was with me, right? I had no reason to be upset. I'd given him the go-ahead to get sex elsewhere. In fact†¦I had told him to that night. If he wanted to sleep with her, that was fine. But obviously, it meant nothing. It had to be a fling, right? Right? â€Å"I don't know,† she admitted. â€Å"I hope not. I really like him†¦and it was so great. I feel like we really connected†¦like the auction hadn't just been because he felt sorry for me. He said he would call and we'd go out again sometime.† Once more, she turned timid and unsure. â€Å"You don't think†¦you don't think he's the kind of guy who'd just say something like that and not mean it, do you?† She was the Maddie I'd known before, the one who looked up to me and wanted my guidance. The one who didn't trust men. I stared ahead and decided maybe the heavens were weeping for me now. After several moments, I finally said, â€Å"No, Maddie. If he says he wants to go out, he means it. That's the kind of guy he is.†